I Heart Blogging II

I have so much respect for people who has the talent in writing, especially blogging. I have a few favorite blogs that you guys can check them out..(refer to my list of blogs that I'm currently follows)

Some of the blogs are much related to what I like: fashion, music and world celebrity

One of the local notable blog that I personally j'adore

http://anakemas.blogspot.com/ (Curses and Candor) , he writes about everything and anything, and the thing I admire the most about his blog is;his undispute natural talent in writing . He's a sharp, witty and the humour that he wrote just so hillarious!

What ever he writes is so inspiring to me. Guess what?he's a close friend of mine, whom blessed with good looks and amazing fashion sense and of course immaculate style. Take note, not everyone who are born that way, cruel and unfair ..no:) he is just the way God intend him to be...to be fabulous!

Anyway..I'm doing my best to be as good as him or other bloggers someday,I'm making a point to always improve myself...

Ally McBeal - Quotes and Wisdoms: McBealism 101

I Heart Ally!
The Characters: fr left: Vonda Sheppard, Georgia, Billy,Elaine,Richard Fish,Nelle Porter,John Cage, Ling Woo, Ally McBeal, Renee










Ally McBeal is an American television series which ran on the FOX network from 1997 to 2002. The series was created by David E. Kelley, The series starred Calista Flockhart in the title role as a young lawyer working in the fictional Boston law firm Cage, Fish and Associates with other young lawyers whose lives and loves were eccentric, humorous and dramatic

Some of the famous quotes by this lady

True McBealism:

There's no sin in loving men. Only pain!

We're not only wired to want what we can't have, but we're also wired to want what we really don't want.



You only die once!



When guys are persistent, it's romantic, they make movies about that. If it's a woman, then they cast Glenn Close.



Law and love are the same - romantic in concept but the actual practice can give you a yeast infection.



I like being a mess. It's who I am.



I've been dumped before, Renee. This isn't pain I'm feeling, it's nostalgia.



I mean, with all due respect, you sort of walk around with uppity breasts, and the hair flips aren't the most subtle. And your perfume - you could be flammable. Now what if somebody shut you down as a safety hazard, how would you feel then?



Here I am, the victim of my own choices. And I'm just starting.



Maybe I'm happy and I just don't know it.



The real truth is, I probably don't want to be too happy or content. Because, then what? I actually like the quest, the search. That's the fun. The more lost you are, the more you have to look forward to. What do you know? I'm having a great time and I don't even know it.



Whenever I get depressed, I raise my hemlines. If things don't change, I am bound to be arrested.



[about Billy] He wants to have his cake and not eat me.



Hi! I'm Ally McBeal, homewrecker. Here's my card.



Wow... I have a boyfriend.



[Watches Nelle Porter unpin her bun and shake out her long, beautiful blonde hair] It's official: I HATE her!



Maybe I'll share my life with somebody... maybe not. But the truth is, when I think back of my loneliest moments, there was usually somebody sitting there next to me.



Sometimes... there's no point in the truth if the only thing it will do is cause pain.



The idea that when people come together, they stay together. I have to take that with me when I'm going to bed at night, Even if I'm going to bed alone.



Men are like gum anyway - after you chew they lose their flavor.



Sometimes I'm more persuasive when I lack conviction.



Uh, let the record reflect that the deponent is a fat, arrogant, overweight, bald pig.



Even if I did get past all my problems, I'm just gonna get out and get new ones.



Remember, when you're with me, it's the only time you're not the strangest person in the room. So go ahead, get weird with me.



We're women. We have a double standard to live up to.



However much I know otherwise part of me has always felt that life has no real meaning until you get to share it with somebody. Maybe that's what I'm afraid of: my life finally taking meaning or suddenly becoming void of it.





* Calista Flockhart the actress that potray this amazing fictional character of Ally McBeal is making a comeback in absolutely fantastic family drama : Brothers & Sisters . She plays Kitty Walker , the 2nd daughter of Walker Family .

Get Well Soon ..Bapak , We Love You So Much

Get Well Soon Bapak... We Love You Very Much

The past few weeks has been very challenging for me and our entire family. We were crushed by the reality and we were shocked by the facts.

My dear father : Haji Radzuan Teoh ,66, was diagnosed with a liver cancer. But, there's absolutely some blessings in disguises. A Rahmat blessed by Allah.

Tawakal....

It's only natural that, as a human being, we would react to crisis differently. I am myself only one, and I have to admit, I cant entirely accept the faith. I cried for many days, I cant sleep for many nights... and I feel totally alone: until I read a poem from a friends blog. I realized...I have to stay strong, I have to be there for my dad and my family.

I've lived with my parents most of my life,and for all I know; My father is a true inspirations. He's a physically strong, fit and the most healthy person I know; A typical chinese blooded men, he is full of disciplines, he works very hard , he used to lead an entire department in a huge organization where he works and he's very much family oriented. We share common interests, teaching. I am myself a trainer, it runs in the family. Public Speaking and Teaching has been a breeze for me, it's my talent that I only discover when I start working. Both him and my mom are animal lovers, we have a few cats that he reckoned as his 'children' . My dad is an amazing cook, he cooks the best fried noddles and fried chicken ever, always been my soul food. My dad loves to read and he has huge collections of books of different genre , but what he loves the most would be biography of famous politicians. And oh ya, he has a this adorable habit of watching cartoon every morning(his favourite is T0m & Jerry)

Although, when I was a little gurl, since my dad whose a government pensioner, travels most of the time and I dont get the chance to spend much time but I reckoned him as a loving father. I still remember how passionate he was towards our family. He is a person who potrays a tough and strict attitude , when it comes to bringing up his children, but we all know he has the biggest heart ever.

His laughter always fills our home with his wicked sense of humour. He accepts every child of his as individuals, and love everyone of us equally(although, as the youngest in my family, I always considered myself as the most loved one..*smiled*). I am myself a strong statement of these, my dad never questioned my preferences, or my choice of life. The proof was, when I was in college many years ago, I was allegedly assault because of my out of the norm sexuality behavior and because of my choice , to become a transgender, I was assault and physically brutalized. My dad came to the rescue, and slapping the college with a warning legal letter of condemning the assault and insist that the college to take immediate legal actions on students of have assaulted me and other transgender students. Althought, no action was taken by the college. My dad is considered as a hero to many of my transgender friends, he welcome everyone of them and always been kind to any of my friends.

My dad has shared so many things; He always remind us: to be humble, to be honest, be respectful to everyone, to live life as it is, enjoy life to the fullest, learn and improve oneself every single day, work & play hard, travel the world as often as I cam, to see life differently and finally the best wisdom that close to my heart: love as much as you could to anyone and everyone.

My dad encourage me to be independent at a very young age, my dad tought many life lessons and shares me his countless wisdoms that I can only return in undying and unconventional love & respect for him.

My mother(Rohanie Affendy, 60) on the other hand is a true idol, and absolute RATU(Queen)to me, a woman with an outstanding power to face many obstacles with a smile and an amazing ability to change problems with solutions. A motherly person whom touched so many life. She stays strong and determined, and promised us that she will be by father's side always. It shows how much she loves my dad, and that just inspires me and reminds me. There's hope in love in my life after all...

My father and My mother...
He is the most romantic person that I've seen, my mom is the best witness. She always praised how loving my dad is, and even at this age. They both still look cuddly and loving towards each other. I guess it runs in me, the blood that flows in my veins are from both of them. I am always been a person who has so much love to share with everyone. I hope this will last in me forever.

Yes I love both them equally, although It may not be as much as they do to me, the sacrifices that they did for me is endless and I can't think of the best way to repay them someday. All I can do is pray the best for their happines, peace, prosperity and health.

The past few weeks, I've learnt so many things ,educating myself regarding tumour and cancers. Researching the internet, reading all the medical books I could get my hand on, even watching The Discovery Channel . I prepare myself with queries for the specialist and the doctor to answers. Whenever I accompany my dad for his current routine medical check up I will express many concerns that I have to the specialist . Part of my life now and my major focus are on making sure that my dad will recover soon. We will continously supporting him in every way we can. The whole family is much united now, for my dad's sake. We all leave aside all our personal angst, issues, frustrations and misunderstoods .We talked to each other more often than we used. And now our positive energy are all channel towards our dear daddy.

6th Of January 2009
We were relief to know that, my dad cancer's was discovered earlier and there's a chance to stop the cancer from further attacking the live. We were explained on alternative threatment, e.g Chemotherapy, and a few more options. But the best option now is to remove the cancerous tumor from his the right lobe of his liver(where the tumor where discovered through MRI , CT Scan imaging we did in a private specialist).

Liver is the only functioning organ that can restore its original size, even when a large of it being removed, and it will still be able functioning well(although based on cases and a person body system)

The tantetive date for his surgery is one the 23rd of February 2009. The specialist who is in charge of my dad case has prepared us with further explaination on his surgery .
He was a charming doctor , who speaks the truth, and comfort us with hopes . "Tawakal and Ikhtiar" "Pray , Hope For The Best, Open Your Heart With The Faith That Has Been Written By Allah"


In preparation for this major surgery, he advised my father to start a strict diet regime and fitness program. He was somehow touched by how motivated and supportive we were towards our father.

There's an important message for everyone who reads my blog
cancer is no longer a death note, there's always hopes to cure oneself. You need to be emotional stronger than you are, and must be motivated enough to live through life, be the support system of yourself and people around you.

For friends or family ...you have to be there no matter what, they need us more than you can ever imagine ...

Fast facts about liver cancer(wikipedia)

Liver cancer is characterized by the presence of malignant hepatic tumors -- tumors or growths on or in the liver (medical terms pertaining to the liver often start in hepato- or hepatic from the Greek word for liver, hēpar, stem hēpat-). They may be discovered on medical imaging (even for a different reason than the cancer itself), or may be present in patients as an abdominal mass, hepatomegaly, abdominal pain, jaundice, or some other liver dysfunction .

Here are several types of liver cancer:

• Most cases are metastases from other tumors, frequently of the GI tract (like colon cancer, carcinoid tumors mainly of the appendix, etc.), but also from breast cancer, ovarian cancer, lung cancer, renal cancer, prostate cancer, etc.
• The most frequent, malignant, primary liver cancer is hepatocellular carcinoma (also named hepatoma, which is a misnomer because adenomas are usually benign).
• More rare primary forms of liver cancer include cholangiocarcinoma, mixed tumors, tumors of mesenchymal tissue, sarcoma and hepatoblastoma, a rare malignant tumor in children.

Cancer can be treated by surgery, chemotherapy, radiation therapy, immunotherapy, monoclonal antibody therapy or other methods. The choice of therapy depends upon the location and grade of the tumor and the stage of the disease, as well as the general state of the patient (performance status). A number of experimental cancer treatments are also under development.

Complete removal of the cancer without damage to the rest of the body is the goal of treatment. Sometimes this can be accomplished by surgery, but the propensity of cancers to invade adjacent tissue or to spread to distant sites by microscopic metastasis often limits its effectiveness. The effectiveness of chemotherapy is often limited by toxicity to other tissues in the body. Radiation can also cause damage to normal tissue.

Because "cancer" refers to a class of diseases, it is unlikely that there will ever be a single "cure for cancer" any more than there will be a single treatment for all infectious diseases.

For those who wants to learn more about cancer, you can visit this website: www.makna.org.my , our very own National Cancer Council.

For all my friends and families, thank you very much for all your kind and loving support. I really appreciate them. Lets pray that my dad will recover soon , InshAllah.., Al- fatiha..Aminn

X0X0

Have You Ever?

Gosh..I'm going back to square one all over again, and it's only the 1st week of january 2009, I wished he was closer, I wished he knows how exactly I felt right this very second...thinking about someone so badly that I can only hope and wished he would do the same thing ...I guess we're at our best this way...

Brandy
Have You Ever?"

[Chorus]
Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever

Have you ever been in love
Been in love so bad
You'd do anything to make them understand
Have you ever had someone steal your heart away
You'd give anything to make them feel the same
Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart
But you don't know what to say
And you don't know where to start
[Chorus]

Have you ever found the one
You've dreamed of all of your life
You'd do just about anything to look into their eyes
Have you finally found the one you've given your heart to
Only to find that one won't give their heart to you
Have you ever closed your eyes and
Dreamed that they were there
And all you can do is wait for the day when they will care
[Chorus]

What do I gotta do to get you in my arms baby
What do I gotta say to get to your heart
To make you understand how I need you next to me
Gotta get you in my world
'Cuz baby I can't sleep
[Chorus]

I Need Some Resolutions

Bridget Jones played by Renee
She Is So Me : 30 something, single,not rich , overweight, smokes like a chimney and drinks like a flower horn fish

New Year's Resolution 2009
I was about to not have any resolutions this year, but there's no binding rules of when resolutions are made. So heck! Why not ..it's my blog anyway..so I can write any crap I want..

So below are some of My visions and missions of this 2009

1. Love Myself More
2. Make More New Friends and Keep Them
3. Spend More Time With My Family & Friends
4. Enjoy Work and Improve My Skills
5. Do Things I Enjoy The Most
6. Try Out New Things
7. Try To Reduce Smoking
8. Limit My Alcohol Intake
9. Make More Money
10. Spend On Myself
11. Travel To Places That I Never Been To
12. See Things In A Different ANgle
13. Be More Positive
14. Laugh Out Loud
15. Cry If Need To
16. Not To Be Afraid To Fail and Try Again
17. Read More Books and Magazines
18. Improve My Fashion Sense
19. Watch More Movies and New TV Series
20. Upload new songs in my Ipod and open for new musics
21. Will lose some weight and be slimmer
22. Be Great and Be Fabulous!

I Can Make It Happen!

Rare Findings

I start writing diary..I mean blogging since I was young. The internet technology has made things easier everyone of us. Typing your blog, archiving them and keeping them for the rest of your life is very much possible. As I was sipping latte @ starbucks, I remembered about my 1st ever online blog called diaryland.com . That was my 1st online diary or blog site. I smiled to myself, amused at my own expenses. Looking at myself 6 years ago exactly, and how things has improved since.

I like to share you a few of my favourite entry from the my diaryland

2003-05-12 - 12:51 a.m.

My Best Friend, Don't Dream It's Over And Nothing Fails No More Fears

It was a very long sleep; it was the most restful sleep I ever had. While I was sleeping, I had the most beautiful dreams after 25 years. In my dream, I met a charming guy, a tall, masculine (a perfect blend) cute and almost completed my search of the ultimate guy. We met in the most unique way. I would always remember the first time when we talked; I definitely would remember the first time when he smiled at me. I can still remember how beautiful it was, the night was so calm and there's an air of loving aura surrounding us. We kissed and we hold each other tight and nothings can tear us apart. At one moment in my life, I feel what true love is. Is not about thinking that you had to know the persons well and become attracted to them, but it's an inner emotional feeling that tells you, he is the one and it's time for you to give and not expecting anything in return. I had hopes at last. I had hopes that there is love for me.

And when I woke up from the dream, and reality strikes me. It's a bit cruel and it's unfair. But when I looked back, I smiles. It's still the most exciting and melancholic experience. I was dreaming that I'm in love with Ad, my own best friend (we were some much in love, the world is ours for that moment). Platonic guy who I befriend with recently, in fact, we knew we liked each other more than a friend (or am I imagining things alone?) I never liked or in fact loved someone like I do to him (I still do) and I can feel that I wasn't the only one who does. But reality strike the both us, we know that wasn't right, this wasn't meant to be, it wont lead us no where. But why does my hearts say that he is the one, and no matter what the cause maybe, he still would be the best thing that ever happen to me. It wasn't a century old relationships that makes me feel that way, it was short and unconventional and it was really sweet. I guess it was a sign for me that, I should just love him like I should do, loving him as a friend. I wasnt't sad; I don't feel like I was betrayed. I wasn't expecting anything from him at all, because I know that he deserves to be with someone else who's much better than me. Again, it wasn't meant to be. But I am blessed that I knew him, and I'll cherish him as my friend, now and forever.

Somebody someone, I cant never hate you, coz u know how much I loved you. I thought one day I wasn't able to let you go, and losing you would be the scariest thing that I had to face! But how wrong I was, I'm letting all these go with an open heart and a smiles on my face and a thought on my head: You deserves only the best, and we were never meant to be as one. Thank you for once loving me with all your heart. Thank you for giving me the chance to love and to be loved by you. I'll cherished that too... I will always remember our first kiss that sweet romantic kiss. Your sweet laughter will echoes in me, the one that makes me realize what happiness is. The tears that we both cries will be significant in me, those tears of reality! That sweet and bitter reality.

I guess its time for me to move on with my life, and smell the coffee of life! What the hack! I still have lots of loving and caring friends; they never failed to make me special always. Is not the end of the world... I have dreams to catch and I have destiny to meet, is not going to be an easy ride. Nothing fails, no more fears, I'll washed away my tears! I climbed the tree of life and that is why, no longer scared if I fall. When I get lost in space, I can return to this place, cause I'm the one.

"SingleVille" I hope your still open for a vacant, cause I think I have to bunk in for the time being.

Life: The reality is, unhappiness is what we're living in. Don't blame anyone on your unhappiness, because it's actually a sign telling u that u should be blessed with all the small things, and never sweat all the small stuff. Just never ever loose hopes on happiness, because everyone deserves it, even if it's just meant for one second!

Oh ya! The best thing is :I will love again..and this time ..it will be better...

Boohoo...that's so mushy and very much sad...gosh..I cant believe I wrote these..Oh well..all in a day..:)

OK . Get ready for some seriously disgusted by my below pathetic effort of my sort called being romantic ..ahahahaha!

2003-02-14 - 11:30 p.m.

14 February 2003

My Funny Valentine

The clock strikes midnight, yes it's Valentine's Day. While I was waiting for the TV news to finished and for that last mushy happily ever after scene of Drew Barrymore's romantic epic Ever After: A Cinderalla Story to continue. I managed to kill some time to wished Aziz a Valentine greeting, I was seeking some good advice from my muse. Pressured by the fact that Bawie and me haven't make love yet (imagine it's almost 2 months) it's so not me! Procrastinating these great nature's gift to human (Lame!) and from Aziz's point of view, he said that it's ok for me to wait for awhile, it's ok for my fears of making the wrong decisions which might jeopardize this beautiful relationship that I have. If he truly loves me, he would be patient enough to wait for the right time to come and for the moment to indulge itself.

As promised, Bawie came and meet me tonight(we want to be among the 1st to celebrate this special occasion) He came right after I was sobbing with tears, as Prince Henry was kissing Danielle(Cinderalla) the funny thing was, he's been waiting outside the porch of my house for the past half an hour(he might be nervous for tonight as well) he look so adorable tonight, wearing baggy jeans and a baseball tee and red baseball cap(he looks like those rap boy band, which he quickly denied! He claimed himself as ardent hardcore music fans) I was wearing this very tight three quarter pants and tight black top, with hair all pony-tailed, kawaii-look(cute in Japanese) neutral make up (I'm into this LV chic look) and of course with my best companion, my brown hand bag!

He droves he's brothers car, we didn't talk much then, we just smile at each other and let those mushy2 music get into our system(Mix FM was playing all Valentine's Love songs collection) surprised, when Gabrielle's Out Of Reach songs came out, he slowly hold my right hand, and said, this song remind him of me, how cute!

My appetite wasn't that right tonight, so we decided to go a for a drink at those very corny romantic atmosphere kiosk at the Kuching, Waterfront.(U should have guess Aziz) there are so many cute couple holding hands and expressing intimacy(which I find it as an eye soaring and very unpleasing) we talk awhile, about what we have done the whole day, we joke and we laugh(no serious issues came out) the best thing is, Bawie always look straight to me every time we talk(I wander he was focusing on my eyes or my blemished-blessed skins!) it's near 2 am, he said he want to take me for a joy ride before he sent me home. We talked again about everything, it was a very healthy discussions, about all the possibilities that might occur in the future. Some of the stuff we talk was rather controversial but we both quickly cool it down, whenever the heat arise! He said he wanted to take me to this very special place, I was near choking when I knew the road we are heading, Santubong Beach? At 2.35am? Crazy! Yes it's crazy!

We reached the beach, at sharp 2.50am, the night was so perfect, there's full moon in the sky, a few stars flickers above, we walked and hold hands on the sandy beach (Yepp! no one have ever been that romantic to me!) Listening to the waves crashing on the beach, and the sea winds that blow gently on my skins. It's just so romantic. We sat on one of the rocks at the beach. Shyly: He asked my permission to hold me, I happily obliged. It was almost like those romantic movie scenes, as he took me slowly around his arm, the one hold that tells you that he never wanted to let you go for the rest of his life! We sat there, holding each other tight, no spoken words came out from our mouth. Everything was in slow-mo. It was really something for me. Everything was darn perfect! Everything was so memorable for me...

He sent me home at around 4 am, before I say good night to him, he turn to me and said to me "Would You Be My Valentine?" my heart just throb so fast, I'm sure it was about to burst, I slowly answered :Yes... We kissed, a kissed that is full of passions, full of high feelings that no drugs can substitute! Inikah Namanya Cinta? (Is This What They Called Love?)

Before I closed my eyes, my hp beeped, signaling I have an sms. It's from Bawie, the message was. Even thought we had our difficult moments before, that doesn't stop me from loving you, you're still no 1 in my heart, I will always love you and I'll missed u while u sleep. Yes, definitely he is the love of my life to be...

My Valentine turn out be very awesome indeed!

Ultimate love songs

Erykah Badu : Love Of My Life

Holy Molly!!..What was I thinking back then..!!

Sometimes, we look at our past and learnt from them. we the hope in us to have a better future ahead..There's always something to amuse us in every way ...

Sneak Peek- I Heart Blogging

It's Going To Be Absolutely Fabulous Duhlingggg

I Heart Blogging

Dear Baby Mac,

I'm giving some sneak peek to all my readers for my blog...inshallah, I'll try to update this blog as often as I can.


It's going to be about my life journey throughout this amazing year ahead!
From fashions thats I adore and the 2009 trend that I'm going to observe, musics that I'm going to enjoy, movies that I will adore, TV series that would accompany my lonely nights, places I will go, food that I will enjoy, and anything about my family and friends that matters the most, about interesting topics or hot button issues that surrounding my life...anything and everything that is fabulous!


I hope to make this blog more readable and people actually going to enjoy them.
so look out people...


Neyna is back :).. and she's fabulous!




XxX