Lately...I notice I'm such an ex-magnet, most of my ex-es been trying to reconcile with me...I dont understand why. But I guess, I'm reaching my prime years, new age, where I am more attractive when I get older(boleh ker statement confident itewwww??)but all my ex-es(Be'Sham, Jimmy,Rajib and Leman) has been keep on sms-ing and calling me. lately..but u know what, I dont feel the same as I used to towards any of them. I am open for any opportunities, but it's quite hard to actually picturing myself with any of them again..maybe ...well never say never kan...a lil update
Mohd Leman: (my 1st- The ultimate :what was I thinking moment.. and this shows how parents can be so cruel to name their child that way..Leman...how kesian is that..picturing myself crying out his name in a passionate mood..sungguh menyedihkan..Kannnn)He was my 1st infactuation, the 1st stocky chubby guy I adored and admired...He's quite tall, fair skin,broad big shoulders,yummy? yess..of course and for me he's quite a sexy guy, but still a typical kampung boy..whom profession- check this out- consist of selling ikan terubok panggang during puasa month, manok panggang, and even illegal drugs(side income lah konon!) the relationship is vague, clueless and I have no idea what was it all about..admiration towards something that so taboo? maybe...
Nabawie(Bawie): *aziz* mesti tgh leput tetak time nangga nama nemiak tok...he was my 1st love, the one that I really head over my Manolo heels...he's adorable, cute and sexy(korean actor song seung hoon look-alike..I swear by my Jimmy Choos!) I really2 missed him, and apperantly he's the only guy that I dated that I havent bump into or meet since I dumped him exactly 8 years ago, and ironically ever since i'm back in Kch now ,yet still, we never crossed path...I hope someday he would see me and thought* wow * leaving me was a huge mistake..Neyna is freaking HOT!! If Bawie..in some cosmic universe and destined to read my blog now..I missed you..and I would love to meet u someday...
Be-Sham: My 1st live in relationship, the fastest ever for me to fall in love(say about 2 weeks), to commit and to actually agreed to live in with(say: within a month), it was quite a disaster! We argue most of the time, our relationships are based on jealousy ,angst and no trust at all, we have our differences in almost everything, I tried to be a good gf to him, I surrender and sacrifice almost everything in my life for him, and what do I get in return...nothing..no love. We actually talked about it recently( which was a long due one..) And we both admit that , we're both young & naive, and we didnt give much room for the relationship to grow, we make many mistakes and we never admit that, when we're still together then, it was quite a bad habit that we both indulge in(we fight and we turn around and make up).He dumped me..not just once, but 4 times(within the period of 5 years, and now he's trying his best to reconcile with me again...we'll see, coz seriously...my heart is numb ...and relationship with him is not something I would look forward in the future...bad ? ya maybe...coz i used to be hurt so much by him, and I have to admit...U dont mess around with my heart and u'll regret it big time!..would I ever give him another chance ever? well..it's too soon to say and it's really hard for me to predict my own future anyway...
Jimmy The Kelantanese guy whom I used to considered as the love of my life, the only who ever loved me as much as I do, a guy who would willing to go the extra miles to show how much he adored me, a guy whom speak the language of my heart(ewwww...puke!!) a perfect guy, my type...and seems to be everyone's type too..and his wife definately agreed with me..so enough said..it's taboo..it's wrong..and I only realized it after 5 years with him..(how come u asked? well lets agree that...I went through a stage where I am always end up making wrong decisions, not for the sports, but I'm just only human, and definately not a perfect one!)
Rajib: Well this boy is really something, 1st attraction would be very much physical! And yes, he's not perfect, he's the type of a guy your friend would disapproved immediately and your parents would be totally rejecting him. He's a naughty and mischeavous boy(the love his cocktail drugs and he drinks like a flower-horn fish)But he does make me happy at one point, we have a unique relationship, I love how spontenous he could be, with him is all about venturing to new things(things that I thought I wont be doing in million years, say lepak at Kuching waterfront on a saturday afternoon..) but it grew older, the fun turns to a constant arguement, coz he's young and his in a maturing stage, where he is always as confused as me used to be before..so..he's quite exceptional...he's all right...I'm sure he will grow into a much wiser n mature men someday(I have personal high hopes for this boy)
I also realize that these day , I am quite a young boy magnet too(not to angkat my own bakul) ..younger men seems to be attracted to me more or vice-versa, I admit I am no oil painting myself..I have no idea why they tend to like me comparing to my other younger counterparts.
Maybe I'm more mature,more confident and sometimes can be sexually loud and signaling an erotic aura(it's my natural instinct..something that I am all proud about)..well maybe lah...but do I really dig on age differences, sometimes I do, sometimes I dont: Although.., yes I dont really mind about the age. At the ends its all about compatibility ..it can be more towards a physical attraction, it can also be character traits, I would easily fall in love if the character and physical wise, if he meets every single details of the men of my choice(I'm speaking for most of US): My Boy or My Boo- He must be funny, mature, loving,passionate in everything, sincere , honest and well established(career and money wise) oh yeah..he must be stocky chubby n cute side burns with oriental jap chinky eyes...and thats more to physical attractiveness...Meanwhile...
I like to introduce to u my current imaginary boyfriend
He's 27, he's a site engineer and also a captain for The Japanese National Rugby Team, he's from Kyoto, and his name is Takeshi Torro(perlu ker nama Takeshi..uolz??)
Torro would usually pose like this while waiting for me in my bedroom..so u can imagine lah kannnn
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