Try Again : September 2007

Try Again

5th days..counting..another 4 days..
5th September 2007

Venue: 6th floor, Miri Imperial Mall Hotel, 6026- My hotel room

I'm here at the most boring town in Sarawak, boring because, there's no much place to visits, boring because..I can only rely on one friend..Bless him for being my unofficial driver these past few days, boring..i'm here to actually to work and definately not a leisure....thats bonus plus boring-ness...so what ever..how do i spend my days..aside of reading my fashion bibles( i bought the bonus pages issues of Vogue UK September 07, imagined me carrying these worth the carried heavy magazine at KLIA on my way back to Kuching...n then Miri)

I'm here in town for the official launching of Maxis 3G, and since I'm in charge of the consumer business development side, i'm handling the product introduction training for the Maxis centre frontliners and the selected key dealers here in Miri. I have to admit, Jojo my sales executive in Miri has helped me a lot these past few days. The training crowd is rather different than the rest of my training audiences before. Kind of slow pace, not stupid or dumb, is just their nature and unwanted attitude towards development. But I tried my very best to be accomodating for their benefits.

It was not my 1st trip in Miri, been here for many times. Short training visits, but this is kind of a special one. As I'm spending an exact 9 days, and mind you. I've been working since last saturday, thats including sunday work. But, the reason I'm ok and still surviving un-torn my motivations so far would a reason of one of my eye-candy among those I've trained.
I always amazed of the unique beauty of the Kelabit men(one of the many ethnics in Sarawak) these tribe are from the Bario highlands. Amazingly cold climate in the heart of Borneo. They have fairer skins, and they have huge musculine hunky physique. Robby is my current eye candy, one of the Miri frontliners. His new to Maxis, somehow..I'm kind of attracted to his playful and naughty attributes(why do I have to fall for those 'notie' bad boys) it was basically, a simply lusty admiration. His just so fine, and every training i've conducted . He will be the one who makes me feel motivated and kind of excited.

I remembered someone told me, if you want something badly. You have to work hard for it. Even pursuing a guy. But I am not the flirty type(oh maybe I just dont have the talent yet) but I simply cannot stand it anymore. I have to do something, at least I would have the chance to go out with him for a night.

So, after yesterday training. I start brushing my hidden talent. I eventually teased, or i guess persuade him to take me out for a drink later that night. Come on, dont be too judgemantle, it's my fucking life! anyway, i went out with Sham for a dinner and she sent me back to the hotel. As I was in my room, wondering if Robby would ever call or even sms me. There he goes, the 1st sms sent at an exact 8.45pm(pathetic me...i kept his sent sms to me..) he was keen on going out with me, and we're discussing on where to go. I cant really believe that he actually agreed to take me for a date...oraite..thats way to far...a date..it should be a friendly meeting with my office mate..right..thats more better..he came to pick me up at around 10.30pm, and yes..I doll up a bit( i have to look fresh beautiful. He was fine, very simple but kind of adorable to look at. But, the night was about to tell me a sign. Yes, it rains heavily, as we both deciding on where to hang out. Out of that slutty blue in me, I have to be daring to try something new. I initiate him to come back and hang out with me to my hotel room instead of hanging out, besides..it was raining. More excuses for us the snuggle up..ahaks...thats what I thought. Suprisingly, he agreed.

He went bought for a few booze, he said he wants us to drink, although I told him, i try not to drink anymore. For the sake of fun, I agreed(girls...do listen to your own instincts) now is the time, when as Madonna would sing, and I dont look at the clock. I liked to boggie wooggie...crazy..thats what I did, we talked, we laugh, we even dance. I even showed some of my catwalk talent. I assume he liked it and enjoyed it. I've learnt, his kind of a simple guy, not much exposed with anything exciting or you can anything sexual. So I told him, to forgive me. If I drank too much, I would eventually get horny(yupp..to that extend I would go)eventually, his a neautral guy, whose quite open for anything new(so u thought) but before hand, I explaine that, if eventually anything happens, we have to agreed to blame entirely on the booze. But it doesnt come that easy. He is still a virgin, yupp....24 yrs old virgin. Who somehow ..never even masturbated(quite hard to believe at first, but it just happens, and I believe the whole thing) but the best part would be, how gentle he threated me. His not prententious, passionate and romantic. We snuggle up and hold each other closer. I love the fact that I kisses someone new, this time I feel the a very strong chemistry.

I am messing myself in another deep shit, but I try to comfort myself. It always takes two to tango. I liked him, I admit. I imagined myself to be closed to him those past days and night. Now , I am closer than close. I watched him sleep, and whenever I moved away from him, he would grab me and hold me back close to him. This is my first time, messing myself with another co-worker. I know there's completely nothing wrong about it, as long as you keep the proffesional level to the certain. I know he likes me, maybe not as much as I do. This is something new to him. I liked him, I liked the fact I am still desirable to anyone. But somehow deep inside, I know it's rather wrong, but it's the right kind of wrong. Should I regret these? His kisses, just melt my doubts away. Although, I am not expecting in my future horizon, but a girl can always hopes. Dreams and wishing, that we should not lack of it. It's my personal positive attitude. I'm thinking on how to react when I see him the next day in the office.

I'm still waiting for him to call, or at least meet me today again, it was his off day. But, I guess. His not ready and I maybe just another unwanted booty call. So, should I regret ?absolutely NOT...no reasons for me to, I'm ready if this would bite me back in my later days. But, I rather wished. It would stay as it is. Sometimes, in my case. Hiding from the plain truth should be the best options. He is straight, and he is in his budding career in my company. So I should threat him equally when i'm working. That would the best to be...

I guess, he may not be the one that I thought last , he would be. Someone who would take all this easy as me, someone who would take all this as something special in his life. I rather wished, when I finally bump into him again in the office, I would exactly know how to react. I still have my senses intact...I still am living in a real world..comes what may...I'll definately try again

ABSOLUTELY NO REGRETS....